indecisive much

2010-05-14T03:54:00.001-07:00

"nothing closes the distance between us except for when we sit down and share a cup of coffee"

I told some friends that i feel lonely which LOGICALLY can't be true; a terribly ungrateful statement considering that my life is so rich. Is this loneliness a cover up for nostalgia and regret?

They say my life will teach to be more appreciative of people. I cried and said how can that be enough? I want my coffee, and i want to have it with you! I want my laughter and your smile within a feet of each other, i don't want them to be transported over fibre optics and satelites in the sky! It is so selfish, they say. " You have your whole life before you" " Don't think too much" "Move on".

Most times i acknowledge the seemingly sensible options but sometimes my emotions assert a dominance I can't contain. Often times, they tell me, "think like a man" "be like a man"" dont' be so emotional". To that i would tell them, it is men that have run countries into the ground. I cry because i have the strength to be vulnerable, if anything it means that my tactical play and analysis (male 'strengths') have allowed me to pick the best people for the benefit of my personal wellbeing. I feel attachment because that is what makes me human. Just like men pick their battles, i too allocate time to pick my sadness. One must be upset about the right things, otherwise nothing would be fixed or bettered.

I do think that I am brilliant and hopefully you think the same way about yourself. So, what makes us different?Does a person's worth come from the fact that they can let go and not look back, or does it come from a constant reflecction of the past that will remind them not to waste what they have already sacrificed? They would say, it depends, life goes on. Well, just because it is a cliche does not mean it is an answer. Just becuase there is not an answer does not mean u should stop asking either.

I declare that I want to be somebody. Just for your information, my emotions are on that journey with me. Just because i have my weaknesses doesn't mean my strengths are dormant; just because i have my strengths doesn't mean i am perfect.

my HUMAN aim is to close the gap between strength and perfection. Logic and emotions say it is doable. :)

2010-03-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

What makes/made you tough? Share with me via email ,msn, comments.

2010-03-10T18:30:00.001-08:00

Today, i feel an emotion. It's a powerful emotion, makes you lose control and forces you to take a deep breathe to prevent yourself from imploding. Today, I feel anger.

I am goal-oriented. No, i am success-oriented. I will only enjoy being second best if first best is a genius. I like to work hard and reap rewards; I do not like losing. Right now, i feel like a loser.

I have gotten stellar marks this term with the exception of math. GPAs of 10s and 11s around the board. So why is it still not sufficient? My estimated CGPA is far below the what i was expecting to receive after putting in so much effort this term. Does life not give people chances? If it does why am i being dragged down? Gosh, it is like a punch to the face. Hours of hard work and effort will not be recognised just because of stupid mistakes from my past. It makes me so angry! Why did I not put in more effort earlier? Why was stupid enough to put my life to waste? I have what it takes to get the good marks so why did I not do so earlier?

Grades are everything. Grades are my yardstick and I think that is only fair.

I am very angry at myself.

I will channel this anger into more work for getting better grades. I have savoured sweet success and I want more of it. I'm worth more than a 7 CGPA and i will prove it!

Ps- my new homepage is the McMaster Grading system.

2009-12-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

Time goes by so fast,28 days have come and gone.
It's real now:)

2009-11-11T22:09:00.001-08:00

love him already.

i forgot to save the convo ...grrr. oh well,never mind lah :D

2009-11-08T13:02:00.002-08:00

:) very calm, very peaceful. I think it's the right thing :)

:(very afraid,very uncertain. I do feel like running away...........but you're awesome...

2009-11-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

you're stupid!

and yeah,i'm a bitch that hates gamesssss.

you do want to die,dont you?.... :(

2009-10-29T06:33:00.000-07:00

everything stays the same.

2+2 can never equal 5 no matter how super wonderfully u write them in magically coloured pens.
and especially if u key them into a calculator.....

even if it did equal 5, it was all but a MISTAKE. a mistake :(

all things stay the same. Haven't you learned yet?

Your thoughts and perceptions are part of your complex trial and error, grief and tribulation. You put them all away hoping for an error in logic;hoping for something different this time around? you are delusional, you haven't learned, you haven't grown-up!!!

You were taught to be cynical for a reason,love! Don't forget that!

2009-10-27T08:34:00.001-07:00

finally,someone let me be me :)

2009-10-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

hi,this blog is semi-retired until much further notice or like never ever.

I no longer have the time/passion to record the passing days of my life. Maybe i will regret not keeping this open-journal but hecks the real world is hectic enough.

ps-I can now say i do not understand how people dedicate themselves to being a partying/camwhore/popular/celebrity blogger".(not to say i wasn't tempted before)Get a life,please?

2009-09-26T18:03:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

I am still in university. I still like it a lot. I have met some amazingly fun individuals in such a short span of time. Can you believe that i have been in uni for nearly a month? :D What do i love about uni?

1)people duh
2)freedon(i've always had freedom but now i am responsible for my own freedom and that's cooler)
3)freedom
4)freedom

Something is different every single day! (except food on campus...well,i suppose they do change their menus every week though lol)

My roomie is also fantastic:) :):).

Bye!

so

2009-09-16T10:31:00.001-07:00

haven't updated in forever and honestly, i don't care!

I'm busy! Just started uni like this past week or two ago. it's definitely exciting to be meeting all these new people. it's a completely new experience and i'm loving it.

my one downer would be that i am neglecting some of the old friends.....

To end it off:

i like songs like this,hope you like it too.

Much love xoxoxoxoxo

2009-08-21T10:46:00.001-07:00

I am having a fantabolous time, thank you :)

thank you to loved ones <3 Anu and Dia for this week.

~Bliss 33 was wonderful with you despite the 'accident' at the end. My god, my retainers will be in full sight of the world from now on~

~Best outtng at Summit so far.Also, first McD meal in a long time lol. Up! is an absolutely spectacular show and you were the right person to spend time with. I wish you all the very best in college and that english test thing. :) ~

However, all good things come to an end.

I leave for LA on the 25th of August, spend maybe a week or so then will arrive in Toronto on the 1st of September.

Adieu,much love. contact me if you need to contact me, leave me if you need to leave me.

Bye,
SY

2009-08-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

Question Regarding Malaysian IC for 18 year olds:

Yes, we are supposed to renew our ICs when we turn 18 years of age. But you see, i won't be in the country for at least a full year before i turn 18. Am i allowed to change my IC 2 weeks before my official birthday?....What if i do not change my IC for two years after i turn 18?

H.E.L.P if you know!

Thank you~~~!!!

edit:
i found out. i just had to type Mykad into google, instead of Malaysian IC lmao.

It seems for the 'legal age' IC, you need to apply after you turn 18 but before you turn 25 to avoid any monetary penalties. Hope it helps :)

http://www.jpn.gov.my/2_4_2_ganti_ic_18thn.php

2009-08-06T21:56:00.000-07:00

gah,i had a wonderful post in mind. However,some intoxicating music later, it's all out of my head. SUPER FAIL!

herm,no set plans for the weekend.

I went to KL yesterday. Lunch in Trader's Hotel. They had an unlimited lunch concept :D Yes,unlimited lunch. basically , 4 courses multiplied by as many times as you want. It's like a buffet but way classier coz u ain't carrying a plate around heated food. Do, i have photos? tak tau lol. $50++ per pax, very worth it leh. Let me recall the menu

Bread basket with cheese instead of butter. (i swear it was like 90% fat or something but does good for the bread:D)

starters
-deep fried rissoto balls with wild mushroom ( a bit over-fried)
-vegetable puff ( i called it italian spring roll)
-caesar salad with grilled chicken ( very refreshing dressing. commercial varieties can be very thick and...'flavoured')
-pan seared scallop with orange reduction( VERY REFRESHING INDEED) the reduction wasn't too tarty or sweet. Scallop was fresh as heck. Multiple thumbs up!

Soup
-lobster something...not bisque( it was like an italian mee rebus if u can imagine) multiple thumbs up as well ( too salty though)
-tomato soup ( it was alright flavour-wise but had a hearty portion of delightfully fresh-tasting prawns)

Mains
-Tomato Penne Pasta( sorry,but i would give this dish a pass. Pasta was undercooked. nothing to shout about.NEXT)
-rock salt baked sea bass with some lemon and squash on the sides.(the fish was fresh, loved the lemons on the side. ultimately it was a good pairing with the sauce)
-Risotto with asaparagus butter and parmigano(sp?). (Too heavily salted imo, the rice was a bit dense for me. but a few more bites later, it was quit enojoyable. Didn't go for seconds though)
-Grilled baby chicken with a curimchin rub(sp?) and a bit of that squash and potato thing going o
again( the grilling was quite excellent imo. i would say the dish was similar to nando's in it's preparation. I had seconds and thirds...fourths?)
-Angus beef sirloin served with a bit of rice and veges on the side(the veges,beef and rice were a delight but the tomato based sauce was a bit much! tasted like ketchup to me...in fact, if u mixed the sauce with the rice, you would have nasi tomato)

Desserts to polish off
-chocolate fudge cake (i've had better but it was still good)
-banana and coconut tart( delgihtful and cute to say the least! it even had a tiny tangy berry/fruit to top it off. I had seconds for sure. )
-peach...?( more like a pastry. yum yum, seconds)
-pear jalouis( yum yum yum, had a chocolate leaf of sorts. i liked the combo. had seconds as well)

Rating:8/10. good food and atmosphere. Go if you can :D (Better than paying like $3 or whatever for 2 half boiled eggs at 'kopitiams')

Which reminds me, i went to Oldtown maybe 2 weeks ago. My mom ordered 'lam mee',pronounced 'lum mee"; instead the waiter said "lehm mee". What the heck, are we still Malaysia or what?

Btw, the restaurant is called Bogo Up or something. 6th floor

Bye.

(Edit: Gobo Upstairs Unlimited)

2009-08-03T03:51:00.000-07:00

2009-08-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

"i can't say i will"

it's called growing up, young miss.After you've gotten crap pelted all over you,you get a change of clothes and head-out the door.Life teaches you things ALL THE TIME. Just gotta be smart enough to listen to that first instinct eh.

It is not that broken things can't be fixed,it just won't be 'perfect'.

I'm not saying this will be end but i am never the one to be blindly optimistic because that's a fools' doing..............So,anyway,tomorrow is another day and i need sleep so good night.

2009-07-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

you yi tian yue lai yue lei
you yi tian yue lai yue bu xiang yang
zhen chang zhai he chu ne?
you yi tian xiang bu qing le?
zhen me pan ne?

tiredness is increasing little by little
logic is increasingly slipping(this was hard to translate lol)
where is 'normal'?

ah,screw translation. there is beauty in every language; but it gets lost in translation.

Anyway,hello!

I have a draft that i am working on,shall post it up later in the week. Also,I am fine:)So,take care and i will ttyl.

i wish

2009-07-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

stability
i yearn
i hope it manifests into MY existence.
my every breathe,my every waking moment

2009-07-12T22:14:00.000-07:00

Hello,

This is officially my 8th day in Malaysia :) I haven't done much. The only friends i met up with were LL and Cher in 1U on the 2nd or 3rd day. It was an alright outing, i was very sleep deprieved but somehow i became a boss. So,that's cool? Cher is leaving today though. Have fun in Oz =P

I am far too lazy to storytell.........I've been shopping. The price of jeans in this country has gone up =( I'm looking for working suits and blouses btw ;) and shoes my god, shoes! i like flats but most of the flats i see are wayy too tacky,,,,,,,,

Btw i may regret being lazy coz i barely have the oppurtunity to see one of my very very dear sweetheart/one of the loves of my life.....Vit. I didn't realise she was leaving that fast my god!!!!!! We will meet today though...at my place. I love you and i am sorry!!!!

That's it.....i'll stop being lazy........will start meeting up with people....at 3pm! Bye

2009-07-01T23:08:00.000-07:00

Before i go bonkers and kinda like flip on y'all.

I ARRIVE ON THE 4TH!

my contact number is my house number.
(i'll repost the details on the private blog)

As you may or may not know, i lost my cellphone so i don't have anyone's numbers with me. Be a gem, you know what to do. Do not expect me to check emails frequently. Erm, you all can drive, i can't ...=D.....You all don't have SPM, so don't attempt the "i'm busy excuse" (not too often anyway).

I have heard about the Hari Karnival thingamajig happening on Sunday. I DO FEEL like attending but it's the first weekend with family so.....?

I will be free most weekdays if not all.....I.......Erm........dunno...there seems to be a primary school reunion happening ,yet i have not been formally informed. {underline underline!} Whatever,i'll be attending it regardless.Too many people i haven't seen in years!

So,I want to see you all. Be it sitting on sofa's in a house, having a roti canai or a 'swingdown'( swing ride showdown). I'm in for it. " it's not what you do, but who you do it with". {sounds crazily wrong}

See you!

2009-06-24T22:40:00.001-07:00

"The greatest thing in the world is to love and be loved in return"

Watched Moulin Rouge (again) while on my grad trip.

Anyway, here is the link to the fb album for the past 2 weeks. I am way too busy to blog for now. Please do leave comments on fb itself or i'll....hate you? hah. I'll make a new post when my heart desires, or my friends start uploading pictures onto facebook...so that i'll post em here. bye for now

http://www.facebook.com/shinyingt?ref=profile#/album.php?aid=271875&id=776285415&ref=mf

$ store flip flops+ PDI(?)skinny jeans+kipling sling bag+ ZARA green boyfriend cardi+hippy t-shirt that says 'Tree Love' = Woodbine Beach Trip Dinner

2009-06-20T10:09:00.001-07:00

bye people,beach awaits. only recorded one song recorded i don't think it sounded great but whatever.hung out with some people that i kinda knew yet didn't know....good company overall.

see you on monday!

high school?

2009-06-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

hahahaha,omg, my exams are over!!!! My high school is now unofficially over!!!! SCREAMS!!!!!!!!! omg,so what is planned? A music recording session with Pris, Karaoke, Beach,Commencement(aka graduation),Report Card day :( or :), McMaster Univeristy Visit, then Malaysia!

Tell me, how can i see you! are college grounds strictly off limits to ......random individuals??? Much love<3

PS!!!! Vitthia is leaving USJ the 2nd day i arrive( i think so....i fly on 30th,arrive on july 2?) We must my freakin crazy god arrange something or i'd swear swear swear..........(cue Vit's own words:" Ganas").Pleaseeeeeeee, a lunch, a dinner, a something. Pretty please have that arranged. Super <3 you if you do.

Ps:Dear friend(s) and stranger(s), kindly recommend a graduation/parting song,or something that has to do with friendship. I am thinking about a song from S Club 7 and Vitamin C. They can be pretty tacky but i hope me and Pris change it up a bit (especially the Vitamin C song!)

all the drafts

2009-06-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

I notice a bulk of drafts that i never published. i was either not satisfied with what i wanted to say back then, or did not want to offend. But my piece of mind is my piece of mind. So here they are.

January 11, 2009
Title: N/A

oh no, u dainty thing,u sure don't have a temper:)

I wish.

January 29,2009
Title:I get tired

i do not understand all your contradictions. How you say that u realize all you wanted was the 'simple life', then how all you wanted was the success of a man.

There is in fact no beauty in contradiction or indecision. To those whom say life's challenges give them a thrill, i say that all you wanted was the success post-challenge. there is beauty in comfort and lack of challenge, minuscule challenge. As if anyone can be strong enough to bee strong....................................

i am so tired or trying to find solutions ,answers, wisdom, plastered smiles, positivity.

the lies we feed each other for the sake of making it through life. You'll do better next time. everything will be fine. i am here for you. I am blessed by the existence of such angelism, but what i would want for once is not having to rely. To be my own person. To do things right on the first try so people don't have to comfort me.

i am not being ungrateful, i am just speaking of the truth people do not want to acknowldge becaus of fear to be deemed negative.

do u not realise the world could be a much better place if people stopped pretending to be happy.

February 3, 2009
Title: If you have time to go through your friendster

If you have the time, go look at your friendster account etc and scan through all the comments you have collected over the years. It is half your life story in a nutshell considering that the friendster fad started when i was in Form 1

My favourite ones are from Diane. hah, i don't know why but they make me laugh :D I realise that Cheng and Pei have the most sweet and generous with their compliments over the years. I also noticed there was spike in people calling me 'pretty' when i put up a nicely-angled- photo, shallow much! The compliments went down when i took those photos down LOL.

In 2007, everyone was just asking me "How is Canada?" ," When you coming back?" ," Where did you go?"................

I put this up on one of the pages "if life is a joke,maybe i was its puppet" (note: it should be AM not WAS!). What is ironic is that it still rings true.

After all that friendster memory quest, i figure that the most interesting question is "how do we make and lose friends along the way?why? and how does that make you feel today?".

Yes, if you truly are bored and viewed ur friendster like i suggested, answer that for me.

PS-I am filling up AIF forms and waiting for TOEFL results.

February 12,2009
Title: Trying

trying to breathe but feeling confused

trying to live but feeling nothing.

anyhow, if someone looks like they are having a bad day. don't ask them "Are u angry?". Chances are they will blow-up in your face! Not that i did, i merely ignored. 1st, becuase I wasn't angry,just merely GREATLY UNHAPPY.

It's not that i am em0, it's not that i am crazy. I just so happen to be unhappy right this moment. Is alone time to much to ask for?

why judge me for that?

It's not that i am against happyiess,lollypops and daffodils; i am just very stubborn and have bitchy inclinations,SOMETIMES. anyhow, STOP LOOKING at me as if i have a tumour on my face!

and even if i do have a tumour, that'd be more of a reason to stop

March 5,2009

Title-N/A

Tonight, I want to sleep early. Early, because I have finished my work; sleep, because tirelessly I have worked. I sit down typing today, realizing this is the first time I have heard your voice in months. Ah, I have not seemed to see you that often over the past year. How is that so? I used to see you every day, even when we were passers on a street. Are you still terrified of seeing me? Afraid that I will suddenly ask you for an answer, or peck you on the cheek? Silly you! Over is, over! My heart no longer skips a beat, my smiles are no longer stretched and plastered, my laughter no longer amplified. Ultimately, your silence taught me to love me more. But, just but, why is it that I still want to love you? Will I ever truly forget you, stranger? Oh, will I ever be forever alright?

ps- i did forget. The peopl that say you can't live after 'heartbreak' merely never lived beforehand.

April 25,2009

Title:i can't stand it

bloody bullshit.hot guys=jerk guys.

tiredtiredtiredtiredtired,eyebaggsssssssss & behind schedule like F*U*C*K.

i am so bored. i need to graduate like NOW!

i don’t know what to feel anymore,there is an unexplainable emptiness, a void.

May 1,2009
Title:tears flow free

Yeah, i am graduating in less then two months. In fact,prom is less than 3 days away. I notice i have not stopped talking about it for the last week! Now,that it was i call being mental.

PS: i never posted this post because i never got to finish this post. Notice the title does not relate to my 'story'

-
--
--
So,that's about it. So long and goodbye. Remember i support nuffnang (and u support me,right?)

Ps- i will be going on a 'grad trip' with my gurlfriends next weekend. The beach waits =D

dear dear

2009-06-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

I was made aware by a complete accident/coincidence that people on Malaysian netwods could probably not see a lot of my photos on fb! like 20+ photos cannot be viewed!

soooooooooo.... here are some that i like. mind you, i chose the more flattering ones lah duh.

This is ~~one of~~ my best gurl friend in Canada. Super love her and will miss her like hell! However, i am sure we will definitely keep in touch :) Chatting on msn about music/tv/ppl/hw. Call me coz i'll be keeping my cell number!

This is Joyce. One of my first Canadian friends to read my blogs. Our best time was spent last year, during Carnival Day, when i poured my heart to her about 'Greenie'. I remember i ate my first candy apple that day and went to the park and saw cute asian baby/kiddies HAHAHA. We stopped being as close this year even though we have the same English class. IRONY!!! (maybe it's coz she's busy being in love with a turtle)Anyway,she's a super smart girl that'll go the distance.[Just remembered, i also told u about Red Hoodie Guy!]

Pris and Annie C. I met both of them when i first came to Canada. One in Civics and one in English. Pris is the sort that is super sweet to everybody, especially when they are new! haha, but i guess we only really got to know each other this year. We play cards together nearly every day during lunch with Carol and Annie L. About Annie C, she was quite new to Haig back then, and i could complain to her about disliking Canada. I remember during my first day back in Grade 11 i continued to complain to her about Canada. She said "It'll get better." hahahaha

Carol. "Father and husband" to someone other than moi. LOL. Smart-ass gurl that is going to the States for university.My God!!! Also,her mom packs her wonderful lunches for school :) Kimchi fried rice, bulgogi, sushis, and other forms of yum yum! She can be a quite gurl (same here!) but she's very sporting and i do love that part about her :) [She's very strong too!!!]

In the leftmost corner, we have Ms M,then we have Mr BusinessMan with the camera, Jul and Annie L. I had Ms M in my first Canadian class ever, Intro to Business. We spoke a bit,nowadays we see each other during lunch and karaoke and sleepovers :) Mr BusinessMan joined us on the limo becuase of Ms M. I knew Mr BusinessMan from law class last year. Me, Mr Businessman and 2 other gurls worked on "prostitution" for a law presentation. Hah, i think we had to act out a skit. Next, Jul and Annie L. Gosh, these two gurls are like an old couple! According to my best gurl friend, Annie L is Jul minus the nerding. I first met them and Aurora (i forgot to take a picture with her T_T) in Dance class. Our teacher's name was Victoria. I remembered i rocked that final dance presentation but my marks for that class were still bad (T_T). Me and Jul spent a lot of time together when i still took AFCALC. Ps, i still miss that! Annie L, funniest gurl eva. She is 'old' and 'normal' ROFL.She has seen me at my grumpiest moments! Forgive me and my Grade 12 stress induced temperament!

Here,another picture of Ms M. She looked so good on prom! She had a swollen foot on Sunday though. Was it the heels?......

Isn't this gurl such a cutie!!! Don't remember how i got to know her but she is amazingly talented in the arts :) About me in this photo, i was trying to act crazy but i am not drama queen enough.some1 is loving my lipgloss ;)

Petra siu che. Met her last year randomly, had her in IDC and acctg this year. Tall biatch :) We spoke/chatted with each other a lot this year. Sang k with her and all that. She's very rocker-chic cool. Btw, she was super considerate and wore flat point shoes instead of heels!

Another Miss M. Doesn't she look super pretty <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iuBTM73vqrI/SjCEaB0D3RI/AAAAAAAAAEY/-nuHAipMYgc/s1600-h/jen.jpg">Hot mama Jen ;) Had accounting together this year. Worked on projects, slacked in class, spoke(bitched)about school. Best memory i have of her is when she sold me "ma la tang" fishballs when she fundraised for the eartquake in Sichuan hahaha. She's going to the States too! The other is Miss YP. We had AFCALC together but she never came to class. Still, she always got better grades than i did!!!! What is your secret,woman!!!!!

Limo photos are next...

I didn't take all the pictures that i needed to take, neither did I include all the pictures that you non-Canadian network people are unable to see but i think i am satisfied with the outcome of this post.

Other random photos..

So, yeah.that's it. I will see everyone soon/one day. take care!!!

***Names have been altered/short formed to protect identities lmao.

BTW, are my nuffnang adds showing??? hint!

where is he?

2009-06-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

Waiting for a perfect moment, the perfect person, the perfect emotions.
Waiting, not dreaming :)

They are not part of the lyrics.

so,how was prom

2009-06-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

So,how was prom you ask?

well, i'm so lazy and private/secretive/paranoid, therefore i won't be posting anything on this blog. Not! Good things are meant to be shared :D

Let me start of with the long-winded story first.Notice that i haven't had these long-winded posts in a long time :(

Okay, it was Thursday, May 29 of 2009. The IDC summative was due at 3pm in the afternoon, I had to be ready to leave the house at approximately 4pm because i had to hitch a ride with Amanda to Carolyn's place. Not to mention that i had to get a haircut,hairdo, make up and nails done within those short few hours of the day. May i also mention that i had been sick for the longest time prior to the week and have been only sleeping at 3/4/5 am in the morning for the last few nights. Btw, on the eve of prom i travelled all the way down to William Lyon McKenzie Collegiate to take my virtual school economics exam. LOL, could have gotten lost but i'm not that stupid (yet). Mind you, the TTC drivers on Shepperd Westbound (wrong bus btw) were manic depressive, as if they had been kicked in the balls and had the lost the ability to pee !@#$%^&.....yeah,i can go on and on. anyway,what i am trying to say is, the days(and hours) prior to prom were hell.

Okay, so me and Amanda reach Carol's place. We're early, get ready yadahyadah....did i mention my sis was there to help me too hahaha! then Nick showed up, then Sammy and Marco ....then annie,jen,ally....then blahblahblahblah....Sammy saw Annie and was concerned about the different coloured corsage(sp?) but it looked fine to me.........

Now, limo. It's very funny really. Limo was supposed to arrive at 5.30...wasn't there at 5.45....since i lost my cellphone we had to go online to search for the phone number...turns out the limo went to ___ Street instead of ___ Avenue or the other way round....So, the limo arrives at about 6.20. Take a quick group photo with the limo and make a mad dash downtown. We take the time to camwhore, turn up the music a bit....We arrive at Liberty Grand at approximately 7pm,before dinner service! Take another quick group photo (minus Nick, our only dude/bachellor, in the limo)(with like 15 other gurls) then get our butts into the building. Mind you, it was drizzling for most of the day!

So, we line up get ID'd. I actually skipped that in a way hahahhaa. Get in, explore a bit, get seated and have dinner.

MEAL: Bread Basket, Salad with Cranberry and semi-odd dressing, 2 pieces of Roast Chicken with 2 asparagus stalks,1 little carrot,mashed potatoes, some odd potato thing, then a chocolate cake dessert with berries and sauce on the side.

Verdict from the meal:It kinda sucked =S.Most people hated the salad and claimed that it tasted like grass. Me, well, i had half of it...Annie and Cass on the other hand -rofl before i continue- ate up a whole lot of bread+ salad. Annie had not eaten the whole day if i'm not wrong. she had been working on IDC! hahaha, i clearly remember Annie saying "Wo bao le" or "I'm already full". Funny gurl :D. They put on "boom boom pow" when the chicken came , and i was getting eager to leave it and just have some fun but i knew i needed to last the whole night. So, while having dessert i bug Amanda to finish faster. Then, the night began :D

Lined up to get those "Vogue" photos. Which btw, who is scanning them???? Stood in line, danced, waited, danced, talked, danced, took photos, danced, drank, danced, sat down, danced. :) Most of my closer gurl friends did not dance, in fact, i don't know where they went coz i wasn't gonna walk around with them in the halls doing nothing; i paid for my non-alcoholic dance floor lah. FIVE WORDS: WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Sorry gurls but dance floors have existed for a long time...........

At 12am, we left in our white long long ford hummer limo.

I only started taking the bulk of my photos during the trip back! You see, my bag had chosen to break on me early in the night, so i had to leave my camera/bag/cell at coat check through the night. Plus, i was not gonna let an electrical appliance stop me from dancing. Too bulky lah!

All in all, it was a good day. The girls looked gorgeous, and the guys looked hot (just like they normally are, just saying....poor thing they/he had to leave so early!) So,what about the dude that i used to be crazy over? i saw him a bit but the best part was when i looked at some some1's photo album. STUPID LAH, siaow cha boh like hell omg tak mau liao lah. Buta, my god!!!! Excuse me, not that i'm being shallow but.........i used to think i was not worthy of him....psssh,puhlease.

What else???

I GRADUATE SOON!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

The End

PS: grrr, i had to retype coz my post did not autosave! and yes, i suck! only 2 photos of me. I told you i was paranoid! The other photos are on fb. please do comment :) Bye.

PPS: just realised that the final picture looks so different horh. Blame it on Angles + brown eyeliner from paint. HAHAHAHAHA

2009-06-01T21:28:00.000-07:00

tag

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed ?
erm.....
2. How did you feel when you woke up this MORNING ?
should i go to school now?
3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo WITH ?
herm,the gurl friends
4. Would you consider yourself SPOILED ?
nope
5. Will you ever donate BLOOD ?
will kua
6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite SEX ?
yeap, but they turned out to be idiots hahahahahah am i jkg?
7. Do you want someone to be DEAD ?
not now,but sometimes
8. What does your last text message SAY?
can't remember. you see, i lost my phone!
9. What are you thinking about right NOW ?
hunger
1o. Do you want someone to be with you right NOW ?
gurl friends in a cafe with lotsa sunshine:D
11. What was the time you went to bed last night ?
3am
12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?
pj's...jusco?
13. Is someone on your mind right NOW ?
Amanda
14. Who was the last person who text YOU ?
----

TEN Lucky Person to do this quiz . (don't need lah) just putting names to do the stupid question portion lol
1. JJ
2. diane
3. vit
4. anu
5.Les
6. amanda
7. elaine
8. carolyn
9. kimberly
10.Erik

15. Who is no.2 having a relationship WITH ?
david(s) hah
16. Is no.3 a male or a FEMALE ?
female
17. If no.7 and no.1 get TOGETHER , would it be a good ?
oceans apart...
18. What is no.1 studying?
some science/bio/chem thing .smart gurl!
19. When was the last time you chatted with THEM ?
some recently,some ages ago:(
20. IS no.4 SINGLE ?
shud be lol
21. Say something about no.2.
sweet love of mine hah
22. What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being TOGETHER ?
1st lebo,2nd no way
23. Describe no.9
hahaha......undies
24 . What will you do if no.6 and no.7 FIGHT ?
oh god...O.O
25 . Do you like no.8 ?
sure:)

prom pictures?

2009-05-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

hello all
i had a great prom =D

pictures on facebook.bye!

2009-05-26T15:42:00.000-07:00

honestly, i hope you fuck yourself and die...mercy on my poor soul for being forced to condemn you.

long story,simple ending. fucking die!

...................................why?

susan in Semi-finals

2009-05-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

She impresses me most in 2:10 even though it is not perfect. Correct me if i'm wrong but UK seems to more and more like the land of dreams than America.

She sailed through the semi-finals :) Bless her! =D

ps-simon cowell cried!!!

2009-05-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

my insincere post xD

i got a new dress! i am such a mad bitch xD will add in details later.

much love xoxoxoxo sying

ps-Please also check out "Come back to ME" by David Cook. Honestly, i love his lyrics!

clickclickclick

American Idol Finale Post

2009-05-20T17:42:00.001-07:00

American Idol Finale CONSTANTLY UPDATING

Performances
1)Top 13- So What by Pink
one of the better group performances
2)Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah -?
crazy heels
3) Alexis Grace & Anoop $ top 11 & Jason Mraz-I'm Yours
4)Kriss Allen & Keith Urban- I Wanna Kiss a Girl
5) AI Girls-Glamarous by Fergie
6) Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie
she can't sing lol
7) BEP Boom Boom Pow
AWESOME!
8) Bikini Girl and Kara Digourdi- I had a vision of love
AWESOME, go find the footage on youtube!!!!
8) Allison Iraheta & Cyndi Lauper- Time after time
9)Danny Gokey and Lionel Richie- Suddenly(?)
-----Go
-----All Night Long
10)I forget
11) Adam and Kiss -Rock and Roll All night Long...song?
12)Matt & GiraudCarlos Santana-song?
13)Megan Joy & Michael Sarver& Steve Martin
pretty pretty girl but ...she butchered the song imo
14)Rod Stewart -song?
15)Adam & Kris & Queens- We are the Champions

"Awards"
Most Outstanding Male -Norman Gentle ( he sings somewhere around performance 2-4)
Best Attitude- Bikini Gurl ( she got new boobies)
Most Outstanding Female- Tatiana
w
wi
win
winn
winne
wiiner
.
..
..
...
......
........
.............
...............................

WINNER KRIS ALLEN

I hope Kris and lovely wife stay together forever and never let stardom make them forget what they were. My prayers(if i pray) will be with the both of you!

Runner Up

He's gonna sell records anyway. So,don't your fans worry.

Both are unique in their own way...but honestly i love David Cook So much! NEW LOVE!

He keeps looking better and better! Can't wait to see him next year!

Song:Permanent

I LOVE YOU!

2009-05-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

puzzling

I have 2 more weeks of school. LEAPS screams LEAPS screams SINGS "I WILL SURVIVE" leaps again. Wait a minute, i can't scream or sing feel-good anthems because i have a sore throat :(

My return policy for the dress expires on prom day itself! interesting ain't it. I found shoes so i may actually change my dress. Light green,slightly chunky heels!Mom does not think i shud do make up at saloons because they probably use Maybelline or Loreal instead of Yves St. Laurent..........and she feels that i shouldn't spend money on my hair!=.= INDECISIVE MUCH...........

American Idol Finale is tmr -eyebrow wiggle (or something to that effect)- Kris or Adam? None in my humble opinion. Maybe i'll like their album though.....
By the way, Adam is actually gay. Cool,right? Just google " Adam Lambert Gay". Tres true, no lies. And i thought he just liked guy-liner o.o. However, that still does not change my opinion about Idol this year.

Oh, Dancing with the Stars ended today. Giles=hot french/spanish/italian= insert suggestive word= did not win.........Hot men can't have it all.

What else....i got my first medical prescription today.Antibiotics cost a whopping RM 100 or CND$ 30.....Do you have any idea how much fried chicken i can eat with that amount of money?!?! =.=

I was going to put pictures but i'm such a horrible blogger (repetitively destructive cycle) so I can't be bothered anymore.

Bye!

ps-i will update about the AI Winner. So if you don't want to know don't click on the post that i will put up in about 2-3 hours!

1,2,3,4

2009-05-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

sigh.

Weather, (swine)flu and gurls can be such biatches sometimes.
1) Weather.
spring weather is akin to pms; lady earth can't decide if she wants to be cold or hot! It's treacherous when one is already sick!

2) (Swine) flu
People are getting sick, people aren't eating pork, prices of chicken are going up! Lord, i was supposed to go to America this summer and potentially visit Chicago, aka the hometown of the deep-dish pizza and my favourite African-American woman, Oprah! All that has to change now T_T

3) gurls
Women like to whine, they're clingy too! Honestly lol. That makes us, us. I can for one say that my mood=biatch every once a month; besides it doesn't help that you get breakouts and become hungrier than usual.

But what i am referring to is the limo issue. Gurls, be thankful!Be thankful that i didn't decide to swindle all your money and profit $50 without you even knowing. Be thankful that you didn't have to make phone calls, write emails and provide credit card numbers to complete strangers. Be thankful that you even have a friend that gives a rat-ass about getting people to sit on your table so each of you could save $5 on tickets. Be thankful that i am not threatening to shred your dress into pieces if you don't stop saying the word "unfair" and accuse me of lying.

gurls, we are graduating soon,grow up. nothing is ever FAIR, even democracy isn't fair, don't talk about favours.

I am annoyed by you gurls -----------this much-------------,but i know i will so definitely be grateful that i have met you! this was fun :D learned a lot for my future management class (aka write up a contract and charge more, refund any leftovers after the event!) What Ally said was right, "We're all gonna be so high during prom!". Therefore, i do not hate anyone because i understand how gurls can become.

Bye!

2009-05-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

maybe if i could then i would do everything
remember every beautiful conversation
have all your laughs and giggles playing out when the freakin world gets horrible and quiet.

lucky for me, for i can remember all your smiles!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE YOU--------------------this---------------------------much X a million.

ps-inspired by the epic final episode of Grey's Anatomy.

2009-05-10T14:59:00.000-07:00

i plan to do my hair somewhat like this! loose and tussled ,whatever they call it in hairstyling terms.
I like a particular Keira Knightley updo but i am too lazy to go find a picture. It is a loose braid super <3 src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/ANNETE%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-8.jpg" alt="">

2009-05-04T23:01:00.000-07:00

Mad/Random/"Unwell" by Matchbox 20

http://www.facebook.com/photo_search.php?page=10&oid=2210575482&aid=-1&auser=&view=all#/photo.php?pid=534021&op=16&o=all&view=all&subj=2210575482&aid=-1&oid=2210575482&id=695687901

-T_T cries-

"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell."

Got accepted into York for Admin.Still waiting on Guelph and Toronto,tick tock. I still haven't submitted the profile for UoT :O!!! Anyhow, i am super busy. Law ISP, law quest, IDC summative, calculus in private school, data summative and accounting summative that i have yet to start! Oh lord, forgot about Family Studies didn't i.............

Prama=Prom + drama as coined by amanda :). Stupid limo booking shyt is pissing me off like @#$. People are such annoying bitches, sometimes, that includes me xDxDxD

http://www.facebook.com/photo_search.php?page=20&oid=2210575482&aid=-1&auser=&view=all#/photo.php?pid=541850&op=22&o=all&view=all&subj=2210575482&aid=-1&oid=2210575482&id=565391573

Such a funny picture. Btw, those are like chinese baked cookies/cake(?)

Btw, i need to mention this. South-east asian crabs rock! (I'm not crazy...) Vancouver crabs are big but they don't have that sweet tastes that mud crabs have,and neither do those Chinese hairy crab nonsense taste good. However,do snow crabs taste any good?Are they only fished from Japanese waters? o.o......

-I do wonder if Amanda still reads this.- You know cantonese "siew yok", the bbq pork with the crispy layer on top? I need to find some good ones in Toronto! For the record, the best one i tasted in Chinatown( i know chinese ppl don't eat in Chinatown anymore but...) didn't taste good. But it was better than the worst one i had because the meat was about an inch wide! Who the hell eats multiple pieces of giant siew yok like that???.........

When i do graduate(which i will) I shall do an absolutely love post about the foods i need to eat and you friends/strangers will have to tell me where i can get them.

end of madness. byeee=D

prom

2009-04-28T20:22:00.000-07:00

What does that look like? a piggy pork chop. Beat that LLJZ!

prom/picture post

i know it look's super plain but it's classy biatch! a metallic grey/silver from R.W and Co. for only CND$100 i am a super genius xD it is slightly over the knees.....Saw a pear of white blingbling sparkly heels that may suit it. also, Annie genius found a necklace that was pretty fitting with the dress. For hair,will probably do an updo.CND$10 falsies from Sephora??? .

im'ma happy!

OMFG

2009-04-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

omfg,best university offer received so far!

Shin ,
McMaster University is pleased to offer you admission to:
Business

yay! first of all, mcmaster is one of the top unis in the world. (especially for it's health science.second, it has internship programs. third, beautiful castle-like campus. :D:D:D:D:D

---------------
just went onto the ryerson website.

1 - Bachelor of Commerce - Business Management: Congratulations! You have been offered admission.
----
just went onto waterloo

conditional admission to Arts and Business :D
---

Basically i am just waiting for UoT. i have to send in that stinkin profile form soon.-fingers crossed-

2009-04-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

Dead End, Countdown by The New Cities

a pop-electro band from Quebec,Montreal, Canada!

I have been searching for this song coz it sounds so fun :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id8pKHjWBok

Sorry, for not having time to update. In fact, i haven't even spoken to a whole lot of you in the longest time -sniffles-Anyhow, I am graduating in 2months. In fact, prom itself is next month but i can't really be bothered about it. No date, no dress, no hairdo in mind :) So chillax eh hahaha.

I feel like i shouldn't be going back to Malaysia this summer. (hears loud BOO!!!) I have so many things to prepare for: orientation, calculus and vectors with UoT, hanging-out with some friends that i may NEVER see again in my life. However, i already have return airfares to Malaysia thru Chicago (Oprah Winfrey!).........So,i do suppose i will be back in Malaysia. If i do get back to Malaysia i will have to do A LOT of shopping since i may end-up in an out of town university.

in acticipation,in anticipation ....=D bye!

yet to know

2009-04-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

yet to know:

boo, you're it! hahahaHAHAhahaha
You suck, you know.

No certainty,nada. Still rolling around in bed every night.
Being tucked-in but not resting, explains the eyebags that are worse from only 3 hours of sleep.

Why are you so, so happy? Why, why,why?
Life working well for you?

ladilaaaaa,i have been told i sing well and shud audition for "Taiwanese Idol".........(why taiwanese??? not that it's bad)
maybe if i were a bit worse in my studies, and/or had no money i would be sending out demo-tapes with the hopes of becoming Mariah Carey or DAVID ARCHULETA (pardon, it is a diss).

But now,life is uncertain...ladilaaaa,ladilaaaa,ladilaaaa.

Lately

2009-04-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

Lately(today?) i have been in super pissed-off mode. People are idiots, full-stop.

On a lighter note,went to karaoke with Pris, Mandy and Jason yesterday. So happened to bump into a different group of people. Btw, we sang so much we actually got bored hahahha.....And i can sing Beyonce and Alicia pretty well ;) hahahah,perasan shit.

Anyhow,i am taking courses in private school. effing fingers crossed....calc is still somewhat of a mystery for me but i am sure i will get it.

-anusa in on msn-
-on phone with Anu-

lazy readi....
toodles.

it's getting harder

2009-04-03T22:42:00.000-07:00

it's getting harder,
harder and harder,to breathe.
Don't mention harder to sleep at night.
People are shedding tears, spending money, losing the spring to their steps.
Blood, sweat and tears.............hah(?)

We gotta deal with it though,this rite of passage (in social science terms).
"what cannot kill you will only make you stronger"
well......I'm a big kid now!......
Life only gets tougher from now on. Get into uni, keep a very good average, graduate, WORK, get into uni again for a Master in Business Admin, WORK, have a family (?), WORK WORK WORK and hopefully die happy and satisfied.............Where do u see yourself?

2009-03-30T11:37:00.000-07:00

random

bow bow pow wow wow tou...whatever, a new and odd song by black eyed peas. don't read the lyrics, you will feel like a moron.

erm if you seek amy by britney is very fun

what else 2 in the morning by new kids on the block = mad by ne-yo
because of the same theme

i am waiting for all my results, it's either i get intot the uni of my choice or not. bloody figners crossed!!!!! ( and a lot of hard work)

bye.

2009-03-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

i have no time for you.
i sit down often enough in the dark of a bathroom,
never having a moment of peace and quiet because my mind is always somewhere.
normally, it asks
are you happy or sad?
when i am happy, i say
wow
haven't felt this good in a long time;
when i am sad, i say
aww
how do i get through it?Again!

Mom says
to say that I am unfortunate is untrue because I am always so blessed.
Mom says
i complain to much, keep scores too often, expect perfection without pragmatism.
Well,I never have answer for that in my head.

I often feel lonely.

Truth to be told,what for?
State of mind is all it is.
Never being satisfied but too lazy to work towards satisfaction.
Tell me, do you feel that often?
Or is it just the privilege of being weak?

Honestly, i refuse to give up.
If i fall i am gonna pick myself up and bust my ass to get where i want to get too.
I realize that i have not find a perfect formula but hecks i am too worthy to give-up.
Baseless narcissism?
Who cares? I don't.

music: where i stand by missy higgins.

one post for today

2009-03-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

hello,I am good:)

i have a one week break:) Nonetheless, i still have work to do. don't wanna die during my final days of high school and screw up the rest of my life, right? hahahaha

I will be joining a sleepover tmr up till Monday. Kinda looking forward to it. This may be my first non-relative sleepover hahahaha.

Also,I was hoping to visit unis this march break, but ppl don't seem to be going to any that i am going :( herm..... let me think uot missi, brock,guelph, waterloo,ryerson...yeah, i think those are all that i applied to. will probably be able to visit ryer though.

btw i am not going back on my own promise by posting. i am just free today!

good night.,byeee all. miss chatting with you(s)!

2009-03-09T20:52:00.000-07:00

i have disappointing math results. Enough to break my heart a hundred times over. Why do i want to pursue business anyway?

I am asking that i be locked out of all my online networking websites.

"Save me from this misery, love(life) is killing me. Oh,save me."

Will not update until my marks for this term are satisfactory.

Bye.

2009-03-06T15:57:00.000-08:00

FOREVER and EVER, LIFE is NOW or NEVER
..........you'll never see me again.....ain't gonna cry for you..............you'll nvr see me again, no matter what you do!

everyone could use a bit of techno!!!

Bass Hunter- Now You're Gone
Bass Hunter-All I Ever Wanted
September- Cry for You
EDIT: Laurent Wolf- No Stress. IRONY!!!

Anyhow,i don't listen to techno very much. It's just that these songs get played on the radio pretty often and they're good.

Sorry that i have nothing decent to post. Busy mah!

u sick prick!

2009-03-01T10:30:00.000-08:00

You reinforce the notion that every fruit rots

into bitterness after that initial delight of sweet;

Thinking that you were decent

tops of my dismay.

28 days aged you;
has it given you new body and character?

ps-this was written on the 2nd of February,which so happens to be 28 days ago. Did not post it until today. So what are my thoughts? I liked the first two lines.:) and maybe the hidden meaning in the last 2 lines. hahaha, i must be mental.

Anyhow, i need a new reader/human friendly template. A change during March break?

2009-02-26T16:48:00.000-08:00

eh, eh, you won't find out
about me.
no,no, you won't.
I had a tune in my head but
it got unstuck;
the future that is my destiny ain't there at times.
The grades that were my saving grace.
Aww,how they elude.

A soldier has his country,
a mother 8 new babies;
I have 9 courses waiting for devotion and contribution

ps- HAHAHAHAHA. i don't know why i am laughing but i think that this prose is despicable.

Anyhow, ACCEPT ME!!!!

the day is Sunday

2009-02-22T14:13:00.000-08:00

Title:The Day is Sunday

Haven't been on blogger in a long time. How has everyone been?:)

I am not busy,thanks for asking, but i do have my hands full and i like it that way. I love it when i have a packed schedule. In fact i do better when i have little time for a breather. Perhaps that is the indication that i should not live the simple life where everything is laid back and lacks motivation.

Anyhow, i mentioned that i haven't been on blogger in some time.I realised that i have many posts sitting in the draft section coz i will not bother to post them. "Trying to be coy?"you ask."No,same difference", i reply.

Lets mention education now.

I have been given 2 program offers for economics and it is pretty comforting. Econs is my 2nd choice and the universities may not be top-tier but it still feels pretty good. I will still be waiting for some offers for business though--fingers crossed--

One more thing, i enjoy "Panda's" comapny. We talked for so long lol. I pray we manage to stay friends no matter what happens in the future.Besides, there is always long-distance and msn!!! hahaha,<3. style="font-size:100%;">

Canadian Music
James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado for Broken Strings

i first it on the radio,then forget about it,then remembered there was a song featuring nelly so searched it. It's not anything catchy so it probably won't become a huge hit or anything but it's a sweet song with pretty lyrics. Dedicated to all the broken hearts? lol

we can't be beautiful people

2009-02-21T13:23:00.000-08:00

Title: I want to be your beautiful

We can't be beautiful people until we let our guards down and give people a chance.

Whom am i to comment on the assumed conditions of your family;
whom are you to be annoyed by my missing intention to mess up your rhythm.
I must be wrong to posses certain pet peeves as they seem to be result of my lack in self-security.However, are my quirks and habits, annoyance and preference not part of being me?

Dear,I can't make you happy until i can love you ;i can't love you until i know you;i can't know you until i try.

It takes so much to be beautiful person to someone else. So should i change me to make you love me back?

Anyhow,I wish stop judging because i hate how you judge me back. Do stop hating on me that way.

Ps-the second part is different from the first.

i do not take that long to decide what cards to put down!
I think it is very rude of you to show your displeasure as if i have been acting like an idiot for the the past 900 months! I have never treated you badly,so i don't believe it is fair for you to treat me that way.Even if my 'lack-of-awareness- does annoy you,i had no such intention. I always thought it was just a card game!Anyhow, I would much rather you tell me so in a civil polite manner. I may not know you, but i quite like you as a person,therefore it upsets me that i annoy you. I don't know why--yes,Erik, i am a conformist--but i am trying to make sure you like me.

So, i will try to change.

sigh.

Why do we always seem to want to please others? i think it is sad.:(

2009-02-16T13:37:00.000-08:00

Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag twenty people.Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name: Shin y.

2. A four Letter Word: sins

3. A boy's Name: sam

4. A girl's Name: sheila

5. An occupation: saxophonist

6. A color: saphire(?)

7. Something you'll wear: shirt

8. A food: soup

9. Something found in the bathroom: soap
10. A place: syria

11. A reason for being late: sleep

12. Something you'd shout: shit

13. A movie title: shopaholic

14. Something you drink: soft drink

15. A musical group: simple plan
16. An animal: snake

17. A street name: susexx avenue

18. A type of car: suzuki

19. The title of a song: say it isn't so gareth gates

ps- i did it coz i think i was tagged or something. It's not fun lah.

2009-02-16T13:09:00.000-08:00

Want to do a quiz? Click now!

Lol,only somewhat accurate for me. care to disagree?

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Valentines post

2009-02-14T14:34:00.000-08:00

"Last Christmas i gave you my heart,but the very next day u gave it away"

by Wham!

Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.

Caesar. Act III, Scene ii.

To all those whom are 'brave' enough to believe in that magical 'love' thing: Happy Valentines.

To those whom buy gold necklaces for their new girlfriends, and Rado watches for their new boyfriends.

To those that are in LCBO trying to get that fancy bottle of 2002 Chardonay.

To those whom are agitated by how couples still seem to be dining-out as if there were no recession.

To those whom wrap themselves silly with their green shrunken throw while eating microwavable pasta entrees and watching a rerun of Notting Hill.

To those whom are waiting to snap-up discounted heart-shaped chocolates post-Valentines.

Enjoy whatever you want to enjoy:)

Goodnight.

doesn't matter

2009-02-10T20:05:00.000-08:00

Hello all,how are you?

My week has been bad,or more specifically, i have been bad. Been acting like a pain in the ass. I have been eating a lot due to all the stress. But even my 'a lot' is not scarily humongous portions.

Anyhow, I sometimes don't know how people bear with me and my attitude, perhaps they know i don't mean it? tsk,i don't know. I haven't been that bad? .......but i have been extremely blunt and unrelenting and bitchy....Ah, suggestions/comments/criticism?

Have been really tired, maybe it is the physical imbalances that is causing a ruckus.

Btw, Natalie is right,everyone seems to have gotten a haircut this weekend. Btw, i ain't liking mine but whatever, it is the least of my concerns. It'll grow out.

I don't think i'll be bothering with decent updates anymore. I am busy and tired and a bit sick of trying to be some 'famous blogger' shyt. Screw that!

ps- if u haven't already known by now, i am a madly insecure person that needs sleep and needs direction.

[Random thought. Ms. M G asked us to close our eyes and envision our goal so that we could work towards it. Frankly, my mind had no pictures/image/voice.Put simply,I don't know what i want.]

How is that relevant?

Get up,get mad, get lost

2009-02-08T14:42:00.000-08:00

woopdiiewoo

Grammys are tonight!

I never knew that M.I.A of the 'paper planes' fame was a British South-Asian. Always thought she was some petite white girl.

All i wanna do...ching clang pang chang

Duffy is adorable as hell! She sings soulful songs so you assume she is dead serious, but she is hilarious. She tried rapping xD ADORABLE. She is Welsh.

Also,i am getting sick of people singing "I'm yours" by Jason Mraz. No offense, sing something else.

Kim Kardashian is hosting on the red carpet today.She is hot but darn she isn't smart. Oh well.....such if life. At least she looks hot. She is actually Armenian by ethnicity and dating a football star blahblahblah. Her mom wanted her to shoot for Playboy....

Anyhow,back to me,the non-celeb me. I got my hair cut. It's actually just a much shorter version of my old cut. It was so random eh,Annie ;). Walked down all the way to Finch and then halfway back coz everything was closed at that hour hahaha. Am i happy? It's okay...less volume than my old cut .See, that is why I much prefer getting my hair cut in Malaysia but...oh well.....we'll see. [Though i must say Ah Leong my hairstylist thinned out my hair SO MUCH with the last cut, but it worked out like 2 months later....]

Out!

TOEFL results

2009-02-04T10:47:00.001-08:00

OMG, i am so freaking coolio. i pwn your sorry @$$.

I got fantastic TOEFL scores man.

Reading 29/30
Listening 30/30
Speaking 26/30
Writing 28/30
------Total 113/120-------

Whom would i like to thank? My first language :)

ps- as i knew, i did worst in my speaking section. LOL

i will

2009-02-02T00:59:00.000-08:00

i will give up becoming like you my dear.
Not that i have stopped envying. I am still staring at your lovely,happy, smiling pictures.
I examine and decipher when there is nothing, just because it is actually everything i think i am not.

When i am busy staring at you, i forget that people are pulling me away to sit on green, green grass and play with Barney,the purple dinasour. These people tell me nice things, keep me happy and accept me even though i may not be at my best behaviour.I like playing with them really, but sometimes i think i want to play princess and Sailormoon instead. So often, i run hysterically towards the group that plays princess and Sailormoon that i ignore that yellow toy concrete-mixer that is before me. Of course,I trip; of course, i cry. I let out a wail so loud because i need to make sure it is strong enough to hold my embarrassment and pain.

I feel guilty then i feel foolish. Guilty because i wish things weren't the ways it has become and foolish because i never seem to see it coming even though it is obvious like breathing.

I wipe away the snot and all with my arms and hope no one has seen anything. Then , i will run back and sing " i love you, you love me".Perhaps,I will have to remember that above all, i am blessed. Blessed to have gems as friends. I'll settle for that.

ps-there is no actual 'you' :) i never played princess nor liked Sailormoon. But,but, i had a yellow toy concrete-mixer and enjoyed Barney.

Song that everyone should really have is Wish You Were Happy by Snow Patrol.

3 minute laugh

2009-01-31T21:28:00.000-08:00

OMG,it's crazy hilarious! I LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Thank you,Amanda:)

ps-i don't normally enjoy odd things like such.

i'm surrounded by your embrace <3

2009-01-29T14:51:00.000-08:00

sorry, i couldn't embed the official video :( .

but here is the link Halo by Beyonce.Beyonce is stunningly gorgeous.

My exams are finally over. However, i still don't get too breath easy (not till the day i die haha). Still have many decisions to make.

I have to decide how often i want to give up in life.

For starters, i want to study business. However,my math results leave little for anyone's dreams. I have to decide. Decide if i am going to put fourth triple the effort and get a decent score for universities,decide if i should pay $720 to take it in private school. Is this the fools way out? I can't tell.

I will crown myself an academic failure. Not that i want to build spaceships or a $5000 hybrid car, but the world only gives you chances based on what you put fourth in your report card. Stories of individuals whom make it big without decent academic achievement are just, well, stories. I wonder what the latin word for 'story' is.

I do know hat separates the loser from the winner is just the frequency one stands back up after taking a fall;I feel like i am the cause of my own amputation.

Lately, I see friends procrastinating, i see friends doubting themselves. Truth to be told, all i want to do is tell them , "WHY? Can't you see you are the one stopping yourself?" Well, of course i can't do that, it's a violation of cordial politeness. In hindsight, I wish that i could be my own rude friend and tell myself to stop my unproductive behaviour. Sometimes i don't wish that people wish me well,i don't wish that a friend tells me to not give up because i want to be the person to kick myself in the butt. Ah,to have that sort of determination would be a god sent.

Where is MY own halo?

I can't give up though, i outright refuse to give up!

Happy Chinese New Year

2009-01-25T18:57:00.000-08:00

如果我可以哭, 那我应为什么而哭?

沒必要....

因为明天会更好:)

Happy Chinese New Year. :)

PS-it was so hard to find those Chinese words one-by-one.

if i could cry,what would i cry for?

there is no need for that...

Because tomorrow is a better day.

nyehnyehnyeh,cliche but fitting.

AND I WANT ALL YOUR FOOD AND MONEYS!!!! Yes, money becomes countable once u start stacking them in piles of a thousand.

sweet taffy and bitter lemons

2009-01-23T23:13:00.000-08:00

i'd like to be that random, fun loving soul that everyone wants to love and be nice too.[i could drop names,but that could look more like bitching then complimenting.] hah. They have life so nice and prettiful(not an actual word). People smile at them more, people compliment them more, people joke with them more, people enrich their lives more often. HAH.

That doesn't apply to me!

I have barriers of steel, steel i tell you.

I could tell you that my barriers are justifiable and it would be completely true. For example don't make friends with random (maybe weirdos) that add u on msn/friendster/facebook/blogger,don't be fake buddy buddies with a woman that wants to rip your money even though it would be helpful to you.

But i am somewhat sick of it.

I am also sick of the feeling that someone else seems so much more confident,sick of the feeling that i am lesser,sick of wondering why i can't just let loose and talk about me and my life.

This could be two issues: one of self-improvement or self- satisfaction. With two separate solutions.One being, acceptance; the second being, improvement lah.

Let us weigh our pros and cons.

What is wrong with a being more careful in life, being a bit more reserved?You still got the people you have in your lives, you still laugh and have fun. So what is the problem? You actually have a lot more friends than you know, gurl. You're just being harsh on yourself, as usual.:)Still, when you put up a barrier you close off the opportunity to know people. Justify it all you want but what are the odds that the random stranger on the net is a stalker,or even better your next boss.( Actually, i take that back.it is highly possible).

In retrospect,I find doubt interesting. IndecisiveMuch.

LMAO!

I'm gonna try to be sugar sweet and see how long i last. Never. Want to know why? Because my non-judgmental self knows that i am a nice too, i am just not sugary. Besides, i don't like "sweet" much. I prefer tangy foods:)

Ps- i love myself,i'm just a bit madly insecure sometimes and it takes over my life a tiny bit.But aren't we all? It is just how well you desperately want to hide it that makes the difference.:)

Ah, i used a mixture of 'first person' and 'third person'=.=. and need to work on my transitions. Yes, my blog is my writing canvas. And i have problems with connection of ideas. i keep an getting comments from my teachers that say "Why?" or " Cool ideas but the read seems choppy" T_T (It should help if i actually sleep)

Question: Do you prefer comments on your blog posts or c-box? i prefer comments:)

Can anyone teach me how to change my blogskin. I find nice templates on the net but don't know how to use them ......

hello

2009-01-21T18:57:00.000-08:00

The week

busy busy,bored.

Nothing much to say.....life is life.

Still,I am going out of my way to recommend the tv series 'Criminal Minds'. Cool stories. I have only watched two episodes, and i tell you i like it a lot.Wicked cool! Also, did anyone watch what i would call the last original episode of original CSI? Yes, Grissom left!!!! Oh my God! Such a good ,classic episode.

I feel old.

Anyhow,want me to tell you what happens?=P privilege of living in North America.=)

Canadian Music

Faber Drive and Brian Melo performing Sleepless Nights (Put Yourself in Her Position)'

Matters

Let me also do a quick mention of the inauguration. Mr President is very charismatic and sweet, same goes to his wife, Mrs President. We also know that the daytime power lady, Oprah Winfrey, is a huge supporter. So, it should come at no big surprise that she managed to get David Costern and Will.I.Am to put together a song that i thought was pretty cool. It's available for downloads for the next 6hours or so?

America's Song

For the first time in my life, i was inspired enough to say "Hecks, i wish i were American too." It truly is the land of dreams(faulty banking policies aside). How many nations have the unrelenting patriotism that America has? Maybe it is what countries like our own need to have a bit more of--self-pride and love. Maybe if we just had a bit more of respect for ourselves, we would actually do something a bit more for the country,and ourselves of course; instead of having to move out the country one by one.

LOVE YOU MALAYSIA!

Not just because of your food, your warm sun-baking weather or your people. But for pride and love,pride and love.

[PATRITOC COLOURS CHEH WAH]

Enjoy!Bye for the weekend.

Edit: Grad photos on Friday =D!

toefl tmr

2009-01-16T20:58:00.000-08:00

I have the TOEFL test tomorrow. Like all tests, there are nerves involved,especially if the universities threaten to kick you out a program if u don't succeed.....

Wish me GOOD luck, wish that i sleep well, wish that i don't need to pee through that 4hour test, wish that i will stay calm.

For those who pray, do so. and for those that think nice thoughts on my behalf,thank you!

PEACE.

ps-Miss, u can one lah. sapsapsui.

Till next time

2009-01-15T13:48:00.000-08:00

SO BORED OF SPEAKING.

who has time to reminisce when they are in such a hurry?

Have been calling up universities for two days straight. Turns out i have to submit TOEFL scores to Waterloo, Guelph, Ottawa and Ryerson. -fingers crossed-

Classes have been alright. I realised that family studies class is like therapy for me. I think i have a very knowledgeable, inspirational,motivational teacher :)

I made myself a promise, and i will keep that promise. I need to have more respect for myself.-kisses self-

This is an old Jay Chou song. i don't even like Jay's part. I like the older dude's chorus.***I changed my mind, Jay Chou sings pretty alright in this.Oh, and i read the English meaning to the lyrics. It's a pretty song :(***[it's sad btw, that's why the ":(" face]

Canadian Music Spotlight

Nice tones. ...Couldn't embed it though.

You Found Me by The Fray

***omg, it is not Canadian! Panda,they're from Colarado,AMERICA. =P***

apalah

2009-01-15T09:56:00.000-08:00

1. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Yeah, they'd stink me up

2. How about drinking?
Herm, no idea yet.

3. Do you like someone you can't have?
hah =P

4. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
herm, that is tricky. if it makes the person feel better, than go ahead. It is not my choice to make.

5. What's your favorite sport?
i don't play sports:(

6. It's Saturday night, and you're home alone. What do you do?
go online?

7. Do you like roller coasters?
don;t know

8. When is the perfect time to have a bf/gf?
when the sun sets.( what?)

9. If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?
None at this moment

10. What are you doing this weekend?
gosh, taking toefl, studying for accounting, looking at my family ISP

11. What is your favorite restaurant?
I LOVE SPICY FOODS!LOVE!!!

12. Have you ever hugged someone?
Yes.

13. Ever kissed someone you weren't attracted to?
haha,not yet.

14. Do you like anyone right now?
herm..

15. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
don't we all notice the *drumroll* face? well, technically, if u view them from the front

16. Which do you prefer, Beach or Mountains?
mountains

17. What kind of phone do you have?
sony walkman phone

18. Computer or Laptop?
whichever is faster

19. Jeans or Sweats?
Jeans

20. Which year(s) has/have been the best so far?
every year is different

21. How old are you gonna be on your next birthday?
u do the math

22. What should you be doing right now?
IDC

23. What is your favorite TV show?
right now? American Idol!!! New judge:)

24. What's been your last purchase?
thinks......actually,can't remember. how is that possible....owh, my lunch and dinner:)

25. Are you attracted to girls/boys that smoke?
NO!

26. Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?
probably

27. What do you do when you're at home?
erm sleep,eat, watch tv, do work,.......boring question

28. What is your favorite subject?
Family Studies

29. What's the best thing that's ever happened to you?
my soulmate(it's a gurlfreind btw)/friend(s)

30. Tag 10 people:
gosh i need to tag too?
-Anu
-Diane
-J
Yes, i want to waste YOUR TIME. i won't tag if i think u won't do it. take your time.

i am in love with

2009-01-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

Chris Brown featuring Keri Hilson!!!

This is the most beautiful song i have heard this year. It has been released as a single since October/November though.I wonder how i never really heard this song.

Have been putting it on repeat for 20-30times 0.0

Noteworthy Phrase:" Not a bird,not a plane, just my heart".
Who says that lol?

Have 6 things on my agenda. One issue to deal with for every day of the week,until next Saturday. Fingers crossed that i can stay strong--not break down physically and emotionally.

Bye:)

Question for you. IS Chris Brown not like the most charming/good-looking young African-American guy in the world? HAHAHAHA

truly,madly?

2009-01-04T17:35:00.000-08:00

i signed onto an of account. i have earned $0.30.mwuahahaha.
------------------------------------------

This morning I walked to school(like every other day.but it felt different that is why i am stating the obvious). It felt really warm today,like warm and bleached tea-filled sachets. It was a lovely start to the end of the high school journey.First day back into school after a 2 week break. As odd as it may be, i really appreciated going back. That school smell was just so comforting. In other words I was at home :)

This is really my very last year in a soon-fed/scheduled/preplanned institution. .

WHO AM I KIDDING?!?!?!

I started out with so much self-doubt early this morning!I thought of my purpose:university.Still,what is the purpose of all this secondary and tertiary education? I do not see how education and a career exert a positive influence on a person's true well being. If anything, everyone should live on islands and Swiss Alps. You know,the great outdoors. And maybe that way we won't need to medicate ourselves as often. Cancer, asthma, alergies ....all gone! HAHAHAHA

But really, it was comforting. o.o
----------------

OH MY GOD, I HAVE TO SIT FOR TOEFL EVEN THOUGH I HAVE BEEN EDUCATED IN REGULAR CANADIAN CLASSES FOR THE LAST 2-2.5YEARS, STARTED PRIMARY SCHOOL IN ENGLAND,ACED EVERY MALAYSIAN ENGLSIH TEST,DONE WELL IN CANADIAN ENGLISH CLASS,TUTOR ENGLISH VOLUNTARILY??????

Yes, i am angered by the fact that my proficiency in english is being dismissed/doubted/ignored(other adjectives?) by the mere fact that i have not attended a Canadian/supposedly english language high school system for the last four years. Preposterous! Why is it that such baseless requirements are being set? Is it to say that the high school university preperation english courses aren't in fact preparing us for,gasp,university?Not on par with the standards of TOEFL/IELTS/MELAB/CAEL?

And does it not help that i dream in English?

Since my true blue Grade 10,Grade 11 and Grade 12 English proves to be nothing in the eyes of universities, shouldn't all Canadian high school students be evaluated by an international (money-making) organisation?

UGH,OH MY GOD LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS-written over a period of days
PS- TOEFL costs around $CND250-300. it is four hours long.I need to wait 15 business days for my results. If a decent score is not achieved, the whole process is repeated.and mind you, i need to send the results to the university very soon. .....i could go on forever.

Operator(A Girl Like ME) by Shiloh

tomorrow's

2008-12-30T22:29:00.001-08:00

i'd love to believe in the tomorrow's of everyday.

But how does that make today different?Since we definitely know that today was yesterday's tomorrow.

We also know that whiners are losers,puppies are cuties ,and we came from apes in Africa (owh,pardon me.Some people do not know that).

And since we know everything ,why can't we/ME just kindly give ourselves/myself a break!

the tale of my spinning consciousness

2008-12-30T14:22:00.000-08:00

There is less than a week left to my Christmas holiday. Didn't we love the sales that came with the North American recession.I for one quite enjoyed it, but clearly not enough,otherwise i would have bought more than a Roots Hoodie ($CND35,cheap as hell) and a Adidas jacket ($CND65??)

I would still like a wool jacket. Maybe i'll go google Artitzia stores.

Shopping aside,life is quite a pain.Why?

1)Head hurts--university applications are due in about 2.5 weeks
2)Head hurts--financial securities assignment due in approximately the same amount of time
3)Head hurts--family studies exam in 2 weeks(?)
4)Head hurts--family studies ISP phase 2 due soon
5)Head hurts--Law ISP (yipee! =.=) phase 2/3 due soon

Mind you, i am paraphrasing this to do list from my agenda.

PS- i don't think i will ever 'enjoy' drinking liquor that much. ( Not that my hurting head is a result of a new year eve hangover). Well, I like my rice wine in Chinese cooking and red wine vinegar in meat marinade etc but 'drinking' is another thing.

Cold beer is bearable, but warm beer? bleuks.

PPS-i'll make it a point to introduce CANADIAN MUSIC coz it deserves more credit than it gets!

Down in Heaven by Kalan Porter

PPPS- gosh,i tell you,i do think i am absolutely indecisive!!! i'll just continue my ramblings somewhere else (i listened to you, Joyce)

first and foremost

2008-12-25T14:18:00.001-08:00

i annoy myself.

why?

this is currently my third blog on blogspot. O.O eh.

So, i am thinking of closing one of them and merging it with the other one. ( too many details on the other blog(s))

Yesyes, i have finally decided to make my life semi-public on the "www". Lets let the inhibitions leave.

Any suggestions? Or is this multiple blogs thing way too annoying?

Owh, Merry Christmas!!!